About A Yogini

Tuning fork update

2011-09-30T21:42:00.000-04:00

So I am still using the DnA tuning forks daily.

I have also started having reiki and accupuncture treatments. The accupuncture basically took my depression symptoms away, like right away! Highly recommend Meritt Malof at the Energy Center if you are interested. Meritt noticed that my upper chakras are completely clear. Wondering if the tuning forks have anything to do with this as I only use them around my ears. So I am trying to remember to use the forks on all 7 chakras daily to see if there is a difference. Check back later!

It is really a good thing I am doing all of this as life is kind of hard right now.

Namaste'

Today is the 10th Anniversary of 9/11...

2011-09-11T14:29:00.000-04:00

As I began my meditation this morning I set my intension on only being positive today and not offering anything negative up to the unity consciousness of the world. (For me the full moon happening on the 12^th makes positive energy even harder to access).

As I sat I began to follow the guided breathing that I use to begin most of my classes, breathe in what you need and breathe out what no longer serves you. I found myself listing so many things I need but the basic inhalation was one of love and the exhales began as one of hate but quickly moved to a more neutral thought.

As I was doing this I reflected back to my childhood when my mother tried to teach me to pray and she would suggest things I should pray for. But all I could think was if God knows all then my prayers are all ready know and why do I have to say or think them? Already a mediator at the age of 5! So I would sit there.

As an adult clearing my thoughts is sometimes a struggle. Today it suddenly dawned on me that this is not a bad thing, this is the next level. Prayer should be mindful thought. Prayer is not a subconscious automatic activity or a recitation, although these are great steps along the way. Prayer, at least for me at this time, needs to be a practice of mindfulness of thoughts. Be totally conscious and in the moment with everything we are saying. Not asking for change but asking for acceptance in a very intentional, mindful way. To me this is a deeper thought, for you maybe it is automatic. It feels enlightening. So as I breathe in I mindfully think about love and all the manifestations of love (to me) in the world, and as I breathe out I lovingly offer up the things that no longer serve me graciously, and mindfully, thanking them for their service to me and offering them up to their next use in the universe.

Namaste' have a great day

I'm a Good Girl I am!

2011-08-19T18:22:00.000-04:00

My Fair Lady Clip (Really only the first two minutes)

I am happy, I am good, I am happy, I am good

Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Sat Nam ji, Waheguru, Waheguru, Waheguru ji.

Sat Nam: Truth is the Identity of the Divine One within all beings. Truth is God’s Name.

Waheguru: Great and wonderful is the experience of the Divine One who brings us into light.

ji: Divine soul, within each of us and within all beings.

Children's Yoga Class Clip

These are the words and their meaning to chant I have been doing with the kids at SOW, the homeless shelter where I do Karma yoga. This is on Shakta Kaur Khalsa’sCD Happy. The chant has drums and voices only. There are hand motions that go with it. It is repeated twice spoken, twice whispered, twice in silence (so only the hand motions and the drums are available…everything else is internal) then back to twice whispered and closing with twice spoken. I find this chant is so powerful for these children that are in a position of powerlessness in their lives. Unfortunately I greatly appreciate what these children go through every day.

I’ve noticed over time that the children crave this song. Today I didn’t even introduce it I just began playing it and everyone, even the 2 year old, knew exactly what to do even before the words started. They have begun to do the whole thing with eyes closed, even deeper internalization of the words they are speaking. I don’t even care what they think of the Hindu words, simply repeating aloud IAM HAPPY I AM GOOD and the unspoken fall out of that… AND IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE I AM OR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT OR WHAT CAME BEFORE, I’M A GOOD PERSON. We all create our own happiness.

This group is so fluid; people come and go from this place. Yet we never seem to back track at all, one group builds on the work already done by the prior group. To me this further shows the interconnectedness of all of us.

And I think personally I need this weekly reminder for myself to be happy and that I am good.

Namaste’ have a great day

Old Blog post from Nov 25, 2005...

2011-07-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

What I am most Thankful for:

What a cliché question. That really deserves a serious answer. I guess if I had to sum it up in a word what I am most thankful for is LIFE. Yes LIFE. If you think about this word the answer has several layers.

LIFE begins and we are safely sheltered by our loving parents until we are old enough to repeat the cycle. But much happens during this period of growing up. For some childhood is idyllic with a nice home, parents, neighborhood, etc. For far more, childhood can be a challenge. With the divorce rate so high it is no wonder there are more troubled children and teens than ever before. But LIFE goes on. The hope is that we come out of whatever situation we were raised in stronger and better than we went in, and determined not to repeat the mistakes of the past. For children the continuation of LIFE beyond childhood is something to be thankful for.

LIFE continues as we raise our own children, or choose to even have them. I am pro LIFE and would never have an abortion. When I think about the sleepless nights, worry, messy bedrooms, nagging, cat fights…ok let me try again…the giggles, smiles, hugs, proud moments, etc. that I would have missed if I had had an abortion it gives me pause. Anyone contemplating this should seriously consider what they are doing. To turn your back on LIFE is counterproductive. And if you made the child you certainly are old enough to take responsibility for it. I don’t normally preach on this point, certainly I understand that my opinion is in the minority today. But I have the right to choose, I choose LIFE, and my children.

LIFE beyond kids is what you make of it. Personally I am trying to grab LIFE by the balls and go for as much as I can get. You might ask go for as much what? Well take your pick…Love, Education, Career, Fitness, Spirituality and Music…basically anything that is important to you. This is my list; your list will be completely different. Money is not on my list. Yes we need it to live a nice LIFE, but I truly think that if the other things on my list are part of my LIFE then money no longer has any importance. You may say, well that’s easy for you to say you have money. But the money came because both Terry and I followed our bliss and our lists (take music off of his and insert aviation).

LIFE and science has always been awesome to me. How so much can come from one cell. One tiny cell with a standard structure, repeated endlessly in nature. Look under a microscope and you are looking at the universe. Then add in the possibility of quantum physics and it just blows my mind. It shows the all LIFE is ultimately connected. What I do affects you and what you do affects me. How we treat each other, and nature, and this planet affects all of our futures. LIFE is a treasure not to be wasted or mistreated, but to be savored, enjoyed, and protected.

Being a Christian I need to close with my thankfulness for one person that gave his LIFE for all of us. What an awesome sacrifice! I cannot begin to imagine. If Christ can do this for me, I need to be the best I can be, and I know I still won't measure up. But that's ok because my inadequacies will be forgiven. So I thank God.

LIFE is what I am thankful for. I am trying to make mine the best I can. Are You?

Well Put!

2011-05-03T07:53:00.002-04:00

Click here Read this

Tornado Times

2011-04-29T13:58:00.001-04:00

I'm so thankful my family and I are all ok. Rome was hit pretty hard with tornadoes this week. I do worry about those that have lost much or all. If there is anything at all I can do to help I want to know. I have tried to do what I can, it feels pretty insignificant even though I know it isn't.

My house is fine, we lost one tree in the unmanicured woods. My daughter narrowly escaped the tornado. An old tree in her front yard was blown up, its root ball is 2 feet from her house.  It fell across her driveway and into the neighbor's house through the roof into the bedroom where the mom and 3 month old baby were sleeping. Somehow they were thrown onto the floor and out of the tree's path. They are just fine but were checked out at the hospital. My daughter is thankful to the angel that was looking out for all of them.

I've heard so many stories like this.  Such as the mother in law asleep in bed when the tree crashed through and split in two each part ending up on one side of her bed. Or the guy sleeping in the corner of a friends house they yelled watch out just before a tree landed on his pillow, he rolled out of the way. People seem to want to talk a lot. Everywhere I have gone has taken twice as long to do because of this desire to talk it out, or is it my ability to listen? I would love to hear more stories of miracles in the eye of the storm, please share here if you can.

I spent most of yesterday checking out things. Our old house has a place directly across the street where there is no longer woods but splintered wood, a tornado touched down there. The house is fine. I would have been there by myself had we still lived there. The airport is fine. But in all of this driving around, and because I was not driving my car (it is in the shop) I didn't think about gas...and I ran out of gas...in an area that had no electricity...right in front of a gas station. No one stopped to help me, but I worked it out and eventually a few people did stop as my help was arriving. I just turned the other cheek even though inside I was thinking "I thought this town was just pulling together?" I can't get mad, everyone has their own personal crisis in process; I will not let this color my service to other, I will continue to listen.

I started the day yesterday with practice, possibly for the last time, with a good friend that is moving away. We were both exhausted but decided to do 30 sun salutes and just offer them up as a moving prayer for all that was happening in Rome. During the practice my phone rang twice and hers too. All I could think was this is a great representation of trying to find some peace in all of this chaos. Everything happens for a reason. I ended the day on a preplanned trip to Gaitlinburg. So here I sit in the beautiful place with beautiful views knowing that there is both this beauty and destruction everywhere: Japan Gaitlinburg Alabama Washington DC Ringgold California and Rome, Everywhere has yin and yang, happy and sad.

All things in moderation.

Namaste' Have a great day!

2011-04-11T13:45:00.001-04:00

Same as it Ever Was

Namaste' Have a Great Day

Higher Frequency

2011-04-08T20:15:00.000-04:00

So I am trying something new. I have for the past 2 years used my C & G tuning forks during Shvansana in all of my classes...they work on about 80% of people. But when I originally purchased them the DnA (get it!) tuning forks actually resonated more with me. I haven't used them much. They are higher pitched. It has been recent suggested that I am moving to a higher frequency as the normal resonance within myself. Therefore I need to be using the DnA in my personal practice. I am combining them with the following daily meditation. It takes 21 days to form a habit, I'm on day 3...check back later...

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Love without condition
I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world. I honour your choices to learn in the way you feel is right for you.
I know it is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you 'should' be.
I realise that I cannot know what is best for you, although perhaps sometimes I think I do.
I do not know what you have chosen to learn, how you have chosen to learn it, with whom or in what time period.
I have not been where you have been, looking at life through your eyes, so how can I know what you need.
I allow you to be in the world without a thought or word of judgement from me about the deeds you undertake.
I see no error in the things you say and do. In this place where I am,
I see that there are many ways to perceive and experience the different facets of our world.
I allow without reservation the choices you make in each moment. I make no judgement of this, for if I would deny your right to your evolution, then I would deny that right for myself and all others.
To those who would choose a way I cannot walk, whilst I may not choose to add my power and my energy to this way,
I will never deny you the gift of love that God has bestowed within me, for all creation. As I love you, so I shall be loved. As I sow, so shall I reap.
I allow you the universal right of free will to walk your own path, creating steps or to sit awhile
if that is what is right for you.
I will make no judgement that these steps are large or small, nor light or heavy or that they lead up or down, for this is just my viewpoint.
I may see you do nothing and judge it to be unworthy and yet it may be that you bring great healing as you stand blessed by the Light of God.
I cannot always see the higher picture of Divine order.
For it is the inalienable right of all life to choose their own evolution and with great love
I acknowledge your right to determine your future. In humility I bow to the realisation
that the way I see as best for me does not have to mean it is also right for you.
I know that you are led as I am, following the inner excitement to know your own path.
I know that the many races, religions, customs, nationalities and beliefs within our world, bring us great richness and allow us the benefit and teachings of such diverseness.
I know we each learn in our own unique way in order to bring that love and wisdom back to the whole. I know that if there were only one way to do something, there would need
only be one person.
I will love even if you behave differently than I think you should or believe differently
than i do.
I understand you are truly my brother and my sister, though you may have been born in a different place and believe in another God than I.
The love I feel is for all of God's world. I know that every living thing is a part of God and I feel a love deep within for every person, animal, tree and flower, every bird, insect, river and ocean and for all the creatures in all the world.
I live my life in loving service, being the best me I can, becoming wiser in the perfection of Divine truth, becoming happier in the joy of Unconditional Love

Namaste' and have a great day!

Void

2011-04-07T09:09:00.000-04:00

So the thing I was hoping to have to fill the void did not work out. For the past 5 years every time I have tried to attain a job in the field of education it has not worked out. I think it is time to listen to what that is telling me and move on.

So I return to my yoga and myself. Still very free in the mid day. Thinking. Feeling a pull to India, perhaps next year for a time. But there are obstacles there too.

Everything happens for a reason...right?

Namaste' have a great day

Variations on a Sun Salute

2011-03-17T20:58:00.000-04:00

So I've been playing with this idea in my head of inviting the Rome community to participate in a welcome the New Year (2012) 108 sun salute practice. I really would like to have more of my students explore to this level. But to accomplish this I need to teach them how this works. Therefore I think I want to do a quarter of a 108 practice a quarter of the way through this year and give the donations to charity, half of it halfway through the year, three quarters at the three quarter year mark, leading to the culminating activity of the full 108 just after the New Year.

Even the quarter sun salute practice requires teaching though...

So today I began in earnest...

My morning private, lead by me did one round (10 sun sal A and 5 sun sal B). I need to do this with them so they can get the idea of the integration of the breath and the body movements. During this morning practice I began thinking about Japan and all the suffering going on there, and how the Sun Sal B has always represented suffering to me. I started to think that over the next weeks I need to be practicing more sun sal Bs to help me understand on some level what is going on in the minds of the Japanese. I know it will be a tiny tiny bit of suffering compared to what is going on there now, but I have to do something. Its too soon to sponsor a 108 practice sending the proceeds to Japan, it will be nice when we get to that point. My student reflected back to me their experience with this, which is mine as well, that the monkey brain shuts off and the minds stops wondering. Its nice to have the world stop for a while. Obviously today I didn't think about my own problems, but I was thinking. 15 isn't that many to me.

My evening adult group class did 10 sun sal A and really noticed how this effected their bodies, again reflecting back to my my own experience within my body. Shoulders hurt, hands hurt, all this knowledge is good to have before doing the 108. Between these two class the mind and body connection is there.

My evening private did 15 more (now I'm up to 40 on the day). It was very meditative and the energy is always wonderful in this class, lots of focus on the breath. I found my mind playing music, singing the Faure' Requiem Offertoire, which I will be singing in a concert in the next few weeks. I found myself exploring this as a possible practice method; could practicing yoga while listening to music I am preparing for performance aid in my preparation? This is a subject I need to explore further.

So a day of sun salutes and the incorporation of the body, mind and breath...cool.

Namaste' have a great day!

Lent

2011-03-14T19:33:00.000-04:00

I've been very busy, and not busy at the same time. It seems to depend on the time of day, or the day. Yin/Yang. Looking for something to fill up the voids, think I found it, but it is in God's hands. Lent has been an especially hard time of year for me for the past few years.

A few weeks back I watched the movie Food Inc. and decided to begin Lent a little early as I've just not been able to bring myself to eat meat since then. Eight pounds has suddenly disappeared. I don't know that I can blame this completely on the lack of meat. I think I am just caring more now about what I put into myself. I think this is something of a yogic journey.

I'm reading a daily devotional created by Episcopal Relief and Development, and finding it unnerving. I'm not very comfortable with these words, yet I am trying to just be, this is one of the hardest devotionals I have read. The first one I read talked about women obeying, I kept waiting for the punch line but it never came. Perhaps that is what Lent is all about.

Namaste' Have a Good Day

The Johnny Appleseed of Yoga

2011-01-24T22:42:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to figure out how to get these thoughts out of my head and I have finally settled on stream of consciousness…if this seems disjointed I do apologize.

I feel extremely blessed in my life. My marriage has survived for almost 28 years and many ups and downs. Somehow we always manage to find our way home. My children are healthy and both have 4 years of college under their belts (one is finishing up 7 this spring). We are all relatively healthy as well.

I have seen so many examples of how hard it really can be around me and I doubt I can (or should) share them all. Yesterday after church a choir made up of people with special needs sang. I found myself both thankful that my children are intact, and blown away by the abilities of some of these children, and sad. My niece has Angleman’s Syndrome and will never be able to talk; she functions on a 2 year old level even though she is 19. I wish she could participate in a choir like this. One of my students at the preschool this morning has special needs; their class is usually a challenge for me. But they all did well and this child participated well. I found myself thinking that one day they will be in this choir. All of my morning classes went well and participation was high.

My first afternoon class had one child. I found myself thinking during the first half how this is totally not working and I should just stop teaching here, numbers are just too low. But then this child shared things with me about their life that nearly brought me to tears. No child of 7 should experience the things they have. I was able to give them some self soothing activities to do. Then I played a song that speaks to my heart…evidently it spoke to theirs too, they told me they loved it. So right then and there I decided that even if this one child is all that comes for the remainder of the year I’m all in.

I then taught gentle yoga…it went well repeat student I really didn’t think would come back…nice surprise.

Next I went to SOW, Inc for the first time. SOW is the new family homeless shelter in Rome. I had 5 moms and 5 kids. I was very worried and conscious not to talk too much yoga language (Sanskrit) this first time. I was also worried that they would just find this dumb. What can these people that are down in safety issue on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs possibly get out of yoga? Still not sure but I can tell you that they seemed to love it, the boys ask me to come back every day.

I think today I made a decision to teach from my heart first. I don’t have to use all the language or all of the myth to make an impact; if I can get that in over time great, if not….patience. Yes it is beautiful but if one is not ready for that type of instruction should they be denied yoga instruction? NO, we are the ones that must shift in those situations, giving only as much as can be handled. I get frustrated with those that think yoga must be perfect. Isn’t it really about striving and suffering not attainment?

I’m not sure what to do with all the things I am thinking or how to sum up the day…perhaps Terry put it best tonight when he told me I am “the Johnny Appleseed of Yoga.” I taught 8 classes and made a total of $4 today in money, but today was priceless in my heart.

Namaste’ Have a Great Day

108

2011-01-09T14:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I lead 108 sun salutes to welcome in the new year. Although not the first time I have done this, it was the first time I have lead a group.

The first time was after a peer past away. We were both in training to become yoga teachers under the guidance of the same teacher. We had been each other's students throughout this process. And we complemented each other well. She was great with adjustments and I with beginner class instruction. I miss her.

My format for doing the 108 that I use is 10 sun salute A then 5 Sun salute B, completing one set. This is repeated 7 times and closes with 3 addition sun salute A. The sun salute B during this practice in the past has represented for me suffering and how its patterns are repeated and how good it feels to be in a place of no suffering. But this experience was deepened as I lead instead of followed. I had no co-leader, I was alone, I had to face the suffering and continue when others could take a break; I had no place of no suffering to go to. Instead of just the Sun salute B being suffering the entire practice became an act of suffering. Strangely though it also was an act of service and for some reason (perhaps I left my body) it was not hard. I was suffering but not to the point of wanting to give up or stop....I just kept plowing on through the pain. Much like I do in life.

I did take time afterwards to care for myself. I got a hand massage, ate, took a nap, and showered. We all need to take the time to take care of ourselves and not forget or become selfless, especially when faced with suffering.

Here is more on the number 108

The give and take of the practice

2011-01-07T18:28:00.000-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how I can start the day in a very low place yet end it much better. What did I do to change the mood? Teach.

Like many women from time to time I get full of self doubt. Have I made the right decisions in my life? Should I have stayed home with my kids until the graduated high school and not just through elementary? Everyone makes mistakes, I understand that. But are they truly mistakes if we learn lessons and improve our lives as a result? Perhaps. But if we don't improve our life as a result they certainly were in vain. I choose to constantly try to do better.

So somehow on those days where I find myself wallowing in depression all it seems to take is a little yoga practice of my own, or a yoga class to teach, to bring me back to the reality that I am exactly where I should be. Yesterday was no exception. My morning class was empty, sometimes when this happens I use the time to focus on my own practice, but I knew what the day held and I decided to pace myself. After lunch I taught back to back: a private - children's yoga - gentle yoga - and a second private. Although exhausted at the end I was also full of joy, full enough to prepare dinner for my husband and me on a night where I would have normally ordered something.

I've come to the conclusion that the practice, either as a student or as a teacher, gives to me everything that I give to it.

Namaste' have a great day

Welcome

2011-01-06T14:08:00.000-05:00

A few years back I had a blog called aboutamom. I used this blog at first to monitor my then teenage children, but over time it became a place for support from other moms. When I started that blog I didn't really have any idea how it would evolve. Likewise right now I have no idea what will end up on these digital pages. I hope you enjoy the practice. Namaste' have a great day.